LOST

Once you called me unexpectedly
I respond not knowing what will happen
Next thing I know is it was the best thing I felt
Until you said goodbye so sudden

Got lost in the world I knew for so long
Wandering where I can find myself
To help forget what I had with you

Tried recreating the situation
When I was still under your influence
Never got it back, never it is the same

Smallest things I can’t get out of my head
Still haunts me every time I close my eyes
I remember all, I remember you

I hurt many seeking what was gone
Many helped me, convinced me it’s over
Many left, some took longer, but all gave up

I don’t want to be alone
Where will I find you?
When can I feel you again?
How can I fall again?

NATURE OF LOVE

You told me you can’t force one to fall in love
But can you force yourself not to fall?
I’m fallin’ for you but would you love me true
If I say I do love you?

Such short time how can I be so sure?
To feel this way it’s hard to endure
But I want it to be unreal and just wake up
‘Coz I know the chances of you lovin’ me
is more than the distance we are apart

But who am I fooling? I can’t stop my feelings
The harder I ignore the more my feelings grow fonder
The chances I take of telling you this is the chance I take of getting hurt again
But so be it, I don’t care… is this love not meant to happen?
Then I just have to let myself get hurt again.

HOLDING BACK

I was once an invisible. All through high school I never made it to popular lists. It seemed that I was just never “cool” enough to be noticed by anyone. I even hid my true self just to be with some on the so-called list. Still, I end up as just one of the passers-by.
Now I’m old enough to realize I wasted my time trying to be someone else and not just me. Some times it even scares me that I don’t know who I am really. My mood always changes and my dreams and goals in life just seem to be different everyday.
How hard it could have been to just be myself then? Would it have been different if I never insisted on being popular? All I wanted then was for someone to see me and love me without looking at my physical appearance then. But that’s high school. It’s the time everyone was divided by good looks and the not-so good looks. Such a shame…
I recently graduated at college. High school has been long over but still it was still like yesterday. Yes its true high school is one of the best times. The experience is just indescribable. Thanks to my friends back then and some of them till now, I’ve also had a wonderful time regardless of my goal then. That goal has been over for almost a decade now but my inner subconscious still practices the way I think back then. I want it to be over. I want to know who I am now and know what really my dreams are. I don’t want to be confused anymore. I just want to be happy. I just want to build my dreams now. Whatever that may be…

LIVING A DREAM

We are all a kid once in our life. Creating dreams with such impossibilities and having the time of your life while playing in the backyard. Such times that we barely forget, times when we are still free from stress given by our daily inconveniences. Those times that I miss…

Now I must accept reality that those times can never happen again. Now are the times where you must face all the consequences of each of your decisions that you really never liked doing at all. Now are the times when you want to go back to the days that you were always told that you were not “old enough”.
My mind is now polluted with so many things that I thought I could never do when I was young. Living with all the pressure and enduring it without any consolation makes me want to escape to my dreams. In my dreams everything is perfect. In my dreams I have lived my life like a child. No worries and no dissatisfactory. I have handled every situation precisely. But those are just in my dreams…
Can someone wake me up? I know in my dreams everyone is doing well but there’s a world where I know I can be of a real help. Why stay dreaming when I can build my dreams in this reality I’m standing right now? Yes I am a dreamer but I can’t stay at my dreams. I must wake up now. Dreams are there to stay forever. But not me…